The Highs and the Lows

Virgins Don't Take Pregnancy Tests with Angie & Dave Season 2, Episode 4: The Highs and the Lows Segment 1: The highs and the lows Hey, guys. Welcome to another episode of VDTPT, the podcast, with Angie and Dave. so today's topic I'm really excited about. just to really maybe share some of the behind-the-scenes when you're an alcoholic. today we're gonna talk about kind of the highs of drinking and then the lows of drinking, and, like, how extreme and contradictory those are. but anyone that has dealt with an alcohol problem probably can relate to what we're gonna talk about today. For sure. Dave's gonna kick it off. Okay. and then we'll just kinda gab. Cool. So if, if you guys have, hopefully you've watched the first episode, you know my story and how low that it got. I didn't include probably the lowest story, during my, when I was in it w- in, in my drinking. a- and I'll get to that. The, that'll be, one of the lows. so I just wanted to start off with a couple of highs really quick. so the point of this, first of all, I was only supposed to be a guest on this podcast. If you look, if you watched the first episode- And then you took it over. I did take it over. you know, I got introduced as a guest, and, you know, it ended up, you know, someone somewhere said that we had good energy together or whatever, and we It was good for the, the podcast 'cause we have different perspectives: 10 years, three years, girl, boy. Or I guess m- man, woman. I don't know if that's what- Yeah, we're old. so one of the highs for me has been, since I got sober, was Angie inviting me to do this with her. Aw. So, right. I love it. So I wanted to say thank you, first of all. You're so welcome. Because, because I've said this before, like- I can't get this open, so this, this really is like therapy for me. Yeah. And I enjoy it so much. I am so glad. And- That makes my heart happy and I think the reason I enjoy it is, is because of another high that happened, just yesterday, but mainly today, is, someone reached out to me who, who I know, or knew a while ago and said, this person said, "I'm looking for I'm looking forward to following you and your wife and your podcast." Oh, okay. And I said, "That's great." "You should." Fu- full disclosure, although we bicker sometimes like an old married couple- It's my sister-in-law she's not my wife. She's my sister-in-law. That's- I guess maybe we should have stated that more. So, it, right, so that's why I referenced the first episode 'cause it was in there. but anyway, this person is going through a thing where this person is, You mean, like, going through it with the alcohol? She's on the fence. Okay. I said she. I've been trying not to say she or he, but she's on the fence. she, she knows she has an issue. She's trying to figure it out. Why- She in that, like, mental gymnastics phase and excuses. Uh-huh. Like, trying to come up with a reason until she really pulls the trigger. And I said, "Listen," as much as I could say, like, we were typing back and forth on Instagram. I, I said, "Listen, it sounds like our, our podcast would be great for you, because while it is a very serious topic, we, we do joke and try to have laughs and make light of it or whatever." So that's where we kinda came up with the highs and lows because it does get really low, but once you figure it out, you, you get the high when you're sober. But, you know, let's not lie. Like, being drunk's awesome. It can be. You have a lot of fun when you're drunk. At the beginning- Yes and the middle, drinking- When, when, when it's not a problem is still really- When- Even when it's sort of a problem, it's still a little fun when you're drinking, it's fun. and so I'm gonna, I will tell one of my, my I, I think it's really funny. I, I feel like I'm setting it up for failure, but- And then I'll go into my lowest, story. so I've mentioned Rick and AJ before. when we, were in Okinawa and we were working in the comm center, on Camp Foster, and, we had just had a party in the comm center. I don't know if it was for a, a birthday or whatever. Wait, introduce our wine. One second. Here comes the wine- Sorry and the cheese, non-alcoholic of course. Yes. Oh, yeah I forgot the, pork rinds. That's all right. so anyway, so we had a big party in the comm center, and I remember after the party, me, Rick, and AJ, we took up, we grabbed all the beer, everything that was left over from the party, put it in a big trash bag, put it in my car, and, we drove up to Okuma, which is this real nice north of the island, place to camp or whatever. We got the tent. We got our drinks. So I assume we had food. so we get there, and, we're setting up our spot, and I- it was my job to, put up the tent, and it was Rick's job to start the fire. Wait, where were you camping? Akuma. Oh. Yeah, we were going camping for the weekend. We had stolen all the beer from the comm center. Tried to keep it. And so who knows what AJ was doing, but, I couldn't... Kevin, relax. I couldn't pitch the tent. I could not, I couldn't get the tent up, and it just turns out that Rick couldn't start the fire, so we're hammered at this point. So you're hammered, you have no tent and no fire. We were drinking all day at the comm center. After the party, we were drinking, and then we grabbed the drinks, went up to Akuma. I'm trying to put up the tent. Rick's trying to start the fire. Yeah. This is your nation's finest right here, right? Y- the United States Marines, and, so we improvise, adapt, and overcome. Burn the tent. So we burnt the tent, got the fire started, and we slept in the car. That, that is a story. That, that was our, that's, that was our solution to the camping. But I mean, like, the beginning of drinking part of that- And it was the best it, it's just the bonding with people, too, 'cause you're doing stupid shit together. And the, the, the best thing I remember about that whole thing was we slept in the car. W- we're all, you know, cramped up, and the next day we're sitting out on the park bench. And I don't know, I don't remember, but Rick said something like, "Oh my God, look at the clouds." And AJ said, "I can't, I can't lift my head." 'Cause we were all so sore from sleeping in the car, but we got the fire started. All right. And we were hammered, so that... And that, also that story is, is in a book, The Untold Stories of Uncle Sam's, Forgotten Heroes or something- Really? a buddy of mine wrote. but anyway, so that's an example of one of my highs, a good time- Here, pass this over to Kev a good time with, with friends, drink- ooh, this is real good. That's good. Hey, I got you guys covered. we're gonna pause and we're gonna- So, yeah have a cheers. Cheers. wait, let me first tell you guys what this is. Ooh. It's a non-alcoholic beer, or beer, sorry, non-alcoholic wine called Appalina. I got it at Total Wine. and it is a cab sav, obviously de-alcoholized, okay? So I think it's just gonna be really sweet, like grapes. Are you ready, Kev? I'm always ready. All right, cheers. Cheers. First sip of the cabern- cab sav. Oh. Ugh. It actually kinda tastes like it. It's just like what I remember. Look at my face, though. I know. And you always make that face, huh? I don't like alcohol that much anym- I mean, like- Well, g- cheers to that. I know. I don't like the taste of it. Yeah. I really don't. I, but I will tell you- It tastes like wine I will tell you when I was, like, breathing it to my mouth, it smells just like pinot. Did you get the tannins? Yes, the tannins. Look. this actually, if you liked kinda sweet wine- That's going all over the place. I can't wait. No, it's not. all right. So we'll try the second one after your story. Oh, and I just, yeah, I didn't know you were eating, so. No, it's fine. We also have cheese and crackers coming. Yeah, you're gonna eat some of that. So that's a fun story. You know, we were, I was probably 20, 18 at the time. I don't know. I want meat too. yeah. I got, I got some meat for you. Mm-hmm so this is gonna turn serious, pretty quick, and then I- I'll, I'll, we'll pivot away from it and Angie can go. I feel like I've been talking for a while. Yeah. So this is a story, My wife doesn't know this story. No one knows this story. Uh-oh. Literally no one. Uh-oh. So when I was, in my phase of acting like I wasn't drinking, but hiding drinking, sneaking drinks, I- Wait before, way before treatment- Did people know you weren't drinking, or just you were- I was supposed to not be drinking- Okay at the time. I don't know how... Oh. Thought I- It says peel here. Excuse me. but I was. I was sneaking drinks. This was my, my hiding stage of going downstairs. I would have little bottles of wine hidden or, or, or airplane bottles of, of booze hidden. and I was doing that pretty regularly, sneaking drinks. So I woke up one night and, and I, so I, I don't, couldn't tell you the last time I threw up from drinking. it just, that wasn't something I did. But I woke up in the middle of the night and I felt like I had to throw up, and I went into the bathroom and I threw up. Cut to I wake up, blood is all over the place. I mean all over the place. Walls, floors covered. Jesus. Toilets covered, sinks covered, mirrors covered. I'm covered- In blood? laying in blood. Dude. Laying in blood. Wife's asleep 10 feet away. This was in our hall bathroom upstairs. I don't know how long I was laying there. I have no idea. Still don't know. I got up, I kinda got my bearings a little bit, and I must have got four or five towels out of the, linen closet, and I just commenced to cleaning the, the bathroom and myself and I, the rug that, that was in there, everything, the shower curtain, everything. I was- How did she not know? I don't know. And I took it downstairs and I'm doing laundry. But wait, what was bleeding? So come to find out later when I start seeing a, not ear, nose and throat, but a, yeah, I guess an ear, nose and throat. I don't know. so they will... 'Cause I've always been told that I had a fatty liver or my liver enzymes were high and stop drinking, blah, blah, blah. So what happens is, it's a thing. It's, it's called, varices in your esophageal veins, called esophageal varices. So your liver pumps blood from your digestive system to your heart. Uh-huh. When you have a fatty liver or liver disease or cirrhosis- Yeah basically a scarred tissue in your liver- Yeah, yeah. Yeah the blood can't pump through. Okay. So it has to find a different way- to the heart. I found all this out later. I had no idea this was a thing. So it takes a different route up through the veins in your esophagus to get to your heart, which- Fairly- You can only imagine how small your veins are yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the, what happens is those veins can rupture. And if they rupture, you literally, you bleed out. You, you bleed out. Like, it's a thing. Come to find out, when I had an endoscopy done, they said, "You have esophageal varices, your veins." So one of the things they can do is, first of all, stop drinking immediately. Did you when people told you that, though? When I heard that news, I don't think so. so what happens is they can do a couple different things. First of all, it's, it's stop drinking. That's one. And they monitor, and you have another endoscopy. And if you still have it, they, they rubber band them during the endoscopy process. They put little rubber bands on the top of them so the blood can't get out. But then you're really hosed because the blood really doesn't have anywhere to go. So that's the importance of stopping drinking. Mm-hmm. That stops them from rupturing and, and dying. so if you look it up, esophageal, varices, and you read about it, it, one of the things is you, you throw up, and you can die, and you have to get that taken care of. And yeah, it, that, that was probably the lowest of low for me when I was drinking. And I don't even remember that being that much of a wake-up call. Because I think that was before the summer of 2023, and I was still drinking. It was probably right around that time. It kind of reminds me of that night I bashed my face in. Remember I told you? Yeah. And it wasn't like it was the night where it was, like, the worst thing that ever happened to me, I'm sure. It just was one that was so obvious, obviously driven by- Yeah, and I- alcoholic drinking and I remember when you, when you told that story, and I said, I said, "Everyone has, like, a blood story from drinking." I told the story about cutting my finger- Yeah on that fucking knife. but in the back of my head, I was thinking if I imagine if I told that, that varices, esophageal varices story. Yeah, I couldn't e- I can't even do it justice how much blood was in that bathroom. Yeah, I don't know. That's, that's really crazy. It was, it was- I- it was pretty scary. So that is a low. Yeah. You know, when I was driving over here, and I was thinking about, like, when alcohol used to be fun. Mm-hmm. This is, like, the dumbest story, but a lot of my college days, like, when I first got to college, I wasn't already... I mean, I guess I was already an alcoholic, but I wasn't drinking that way. So when I got to college is where it really, like, accelerated. Right. But I remember this one night, I don't know why, we were sitting in a circle at our house, men and women, boys and girls. We were taking shots. I think it was of vodka. And for some reason, when you took the shot of vodka, you had to put your, this pair of tennis shoes on your ear and go, "I've got tennis, I've got shoes in my ears. Am I cute?" And we were drunk and laughing, and okay, sorry. That's what we did. We're nerds. But, like, I still to this day, if I call my friend Mark and say, "I've got shoar- shoes on my ears. Am I cute?" It's from the night we were just sitting around taking shots. And, like, how stupid is that? Listen, I didn't drink beer with my right hand for 20 years. I mean, there's dumb shit that you do. I'm just saying, like, those were, like, fun times. You know, we went to Mardi Gras. We, like, did everything, you know? But fast-forward 12, 13 years, it was not fun. Well- When you- I actually, when you talk about lows like that, I don't really even like thinking about those. like, after the fact, I'm, I just, like, it's- I don't even think it was a weekend. I think I went to work the next day. But again, I- Well, that's the disturbing part 'cause it was every day pretty much it, it, it didn't surprise me. I was, yeah. I was- It didn't sh- it didn't shock me because I didn't also at the time know the extreme. I didn't know that that literally was a thing that could kill you, that your veins in your throat- Well, I've honestly- could explode never heard of that, but I do- Look it up I mean- Esophageal varices I had someone my age that died from seizures from alcohol, and that's crazy because it's just like- So that's the, the dichotomous- Do I gotta drink this so I can give you the white? That's the dichotomous part about- Eat a lime and cheese about drinking, right? If you, i- if you, if you drink too much, and obviously it becomes a problem, it's a really bad thing, and it's very dangerous And like we say, like, we don't have that disclaimer at the beginning of the podcast for nothing. It's also very dangerous to stop drinking on your own- Uh-huh if you're drinking as much as we were, because seizures can happen. Yeah that's why they say, if you're in it that bad, don't quit on your own. Uh-uh. You have to get into treatment, because they give you medicine to, to quell that, to keep that from happening. I was thinking I went to my first rehab drunk. I'm sure I was too. But I remember pounding the night before. I was at Beth's house. Pounding drinks at Beth's house? That was a fun time. They were asleep. They were asleep. Really? I was getting driven to rehab the next morning. 'Cause you knew you were going anyway. Mm-hmm. And I remember sitting out on the- Did they pick you up? Who? The, the rehab place. No. Hmm. They came and picked me up. And they- It must've been bad if they, you know, just came- And they brought me back the morning I left. So- That was like 6:00 in the morning the funny thing about rehab is the druggie buggy. Like- Yeah the druggie buggy was, like, you dr- got driven around in. It was so humiliating. I used to go to, we would go to the grocery in the druggie buggy. Yeah. How embarrassing- That, that druggie buggy if you ran into anyone you knew. Yeah. Y- you know, so you would think, you would think, like, having to go to treatment for 30 days and being away from your family, you would think, like, that's as low as it gets, right? But what do I always say? No such thing as rock bottom. It can always go lower, and that night, or early morning, whenever that was, I don't... The scary thing is, I don't know how long I was there. I don't remember ever throwing up. I was throwing up at, as I was passed out or knocked out or, I don't know if I hit my head. I mean, I didn't feel like I hit my head, but imagine waking up in a pool of blood. Not just in a pool of blood. I'm not kidding when I say the walls, and somehow the sink, and the mirror, and the shower, blood. I mean, I, I, I have been around someone that had a lot of blood, and I believe you. It's, there's a lot. Yeah. It was crazy. And that didn't make you... Hmm. I, I thought I just threw up and I threw up a little too hard and, you know, my throat was sore or something. I don't know. I mean, I think that sort of speaks to, like, the completely ludicrous behavior- Oh, yeah that goes into your final, like, heavy, heavy- Yeah drinking days. Yeah, but then that also speaks to the fact, like, how bad was I in it that that didn't seem that out of the ordinary to me, right? Like, the question from last week, like, what would be shocking now? Yeah. Like, to me, that was not shocking. It was like a fucking Thursday. Yeah. You know? I know. I was drinking every day. I think for me too, like, rehab, rehab was good, but it also, like, I don't know. There's, you can kind of play the game. You know what I mean? Like, I felt like there's a, a group of people in there that don't really wanna get sober. So- There's always we, it's a little bit challenging. Yeah. You've got people that are in there from, like, court order, Yeah or, or they have some massive health thing. Yeah. And I know, I know we say it all the time, but I mean, someone making you go is just pointless. You have to do it for yourself. I just wanna say one more time, 'cause I think we've been having a lot of fun the last couple weeks. Yeah. And, you know, Dave and I, well, I'll just speak for myself and then he can speak, but really, really got to a bad place, with alcohol. And, by the end, I, I literally, it almost took me down completely. I almost lost my girls. I did lose a job. I lost plenty of friends. what? I lost you. I lost job. I lost friends. I know. I'm just saying, yeah, me too. And then you keep drinking. Me too. Yeah. Yeah. Doesn't matter. It's, it's the insanity of alcoholism. Yeah. It just, it doesn't matter. It's so powerful. And y- it, it, it, it, it's so power- you don't even realize it. That's the thing. Mm-hmm. Like, it, it just seems so normal. It just seems so normal, and it's just, when you, when, when you wake up in a pile of your own blood and you don't think that that's a problem and you keep going- Well- I don't know, man I think you knew it was a problem. You just decided to keep g- like- Yeah. I probably just didn't care well, that's what I mean. Like, obviously, like, so someone said something to me, like, "Your drinking is out of control," or whatever. Like, none of that. I was like, "Okay," you know? Mm-hmm. "Who the fuck are you?" Fucking nerd. Well, I'd be like, "Don't hang out with me then. You don't like how I'm acting? Go be somewhere else." Yeah. I don't need you as a friend. Yeah. I got my friend right here. I got my drinking friends- I got my, I got my friend- and I got my wine right here. Yeah. But I just, like, do wanna really make sure that no one thinks we're joking about alcoholism. I think it's really- Don't, trust me, I, I don't want to be here. I wish that we were not here. Yeah. You're in a club that you don't wanna be in. I wish we were- Yes not here right now. Yes. I wish I was not here drinking non-alcoholic wine. But because we are, right, some things happen, and you just have to deal with it, and you have to make the best of it. And I, I'd like to think that this is us making the best of it, getting stories- out there and at least opening ourselves up, hopefully, to be a sounding board for people who can chime in and say, "Yeah, I did that," or, or, "I'm thinking this way," or, "Do you think that's me?" like, hopefully people will reach out. Also, I want them to see, I want you guys to know, I mean, you can have a lot of fun in sobriety. There's, there's another side. Yeah. And I remember, like, when I was thinking about quitting drinking, I told you guys, I wanted to drink on my 40th birthday. I don't know why. That was in my head. I was gonna have big drinks on my 40th birthday. And so at 38, when I started going to AA and thinking about quitting and, you know, all of that, But yeah, I, I just, I'm so glad that we're doing this, and I'm so glad that, that we're doing it together. Aw. Segment 2: Catch of the Day Okay, we're back with, our next, I would say mocktail, but today we're doing wine. we're gonna taste test the Chardonnay by the same brand, and we have cheese and crackers, as you know. But we're gonna do our catch of the day. So we're gonna fishbowl catch of the day. That's the whole, we're gonna answer, Dave and I are gonna answer these questions. We have no idea what they are. These are listener questions or audience questions. And so we're both gonna answer it. Oh, shit, Larry. Sorry, man. Good. Oh, wait. No, I missed Larry. Also, the rule is if, if you don't like the question, you have, like, one veto. A heavy pour with the non- No, it's because the glasses are so thick. How long is the veto for? That's what I... I didn't know. Do you get one- Here's the thing Do you get one a season or one a- If I don't wanna- Yeah, the crowd wants to know I'm gonna veto whenever I want is the truth. So you gonna have... You have unlimited vetoes? Yeah. I mean- In fact, it's my show. I'll veto whatever I want mostly as it re- Cheers mostly as it relates to the girls. Cheers to the veto. Cheers. I don't think- Cheers any questions will have in relation to they, like, your daughters. You know what I'm saying? Wait a second. But if I start asking questions- Wait a second. I like this. Yeah, right. It is sweet. I think it's, I think it's very sweet. It's good. I thought a Chardonnay was supposed to be more sour. Really? You should try the red one, Larry. It tastes like red wine. I suppose. It's sour. It's really good. No, this tastes good. All right. It's just sweet. It's not how I picture or remember a Chardonnay. Okay, are you ready for the question? It's actually- Yeah kind of a hard one. I'm gonna have to think of it. the question is, what is an accomplishment you are proud of that you wouldn't have been able to accomplish while you were drinking? So that's a hard one. That's a hard one. Okay, well, the easy answer for me is if I didn't stop drinking, I would be dead right now, so I wouldn't have accomplished anything. I mean, I would have been dead, too, if I didn't. So, so we evaded death. That's an accomplishment. Yeah. That is. we wouldn't have this podcast. We wouldn't have this outlet. I actually... The thing that came to my mind was the podcast- Yeah we wouldn't have, and how much that's a good outlet for me and you, and- I told you, it's like my therapy I mean, and we met Kevin and Larry. Like, our life has changed. Larry. Le- Larry Kevin, whatever. but yeah, I was thinking about the podcast. I was also thinking about, like, just, like, moving and, like, I know you haven't moved, but when I- No, but, like, but, like, who knows? I mean, like, i- in the last, like, six months, you know, I've, I've paid my truck off. Right. I don't know if I would've been able to do that- No. Right how, how much money- Right, right, right I was spending on booze and going out all the time. yeah, I th- I mean, the one thing we definitely, or I definitely wouldn't have been able to accomplish is happiness, health and happiness. Yeah. so I mean, that's, you know, kind of- I was gonna say my, like, family life with the girls. Do you know what I mean? And my... Like, it's just normal and loving, and it's just, like, not chaotic, I guess. Right. It's, Once you eliminate drinking, it's not chaotic. Like- Yeah, it's, it's- I feel like my accomplishment was being able to get the girls into college. Yep. That's huge. Like, that's all I wanted to do- That's huge is make sure they were safe, happy, and got through college. So I feel like I'm on my way to finishing that, and I am proud of that. Yeah. And I think for me, health and happiness. Never, ever would've accomplished that had I still been drinking. No chance. You would've just been an asshole forever. Asshole forever and dead. Yeah. I think that's the part I just wanna say one more time. Like, honestly, if I quit drinking, I would have been dead. I remember I shared this. Do I wanna keep drinking and die and give the girls to someone else? Or, like, do I wanna quit? And keep the girls. And it was, like, really a decision, which is crazy It, right, it shouldn't even be a debate That's what I mean. Yeah Like, that it's an actual decision Okay. Peace. All right. Well, that was a good question. If you guys have any more, send them in. questions@vdtpt.com. angie@vdtpt.com email, and dave@vdtpt.com Oh my God. We have our emails- We're set up are all set up, so you guys can, can hit us up with suggestions, comments, questions. Oh, also, we don't have any today, but any sobriety anniversaries, we have this, cheers to that. I think today we'll just cheers to, a busy November. We got two podcasts done this week, and, we're excited about going forward. Oh, are we moving right into cheers to that? No, we don't have to. Well, I mean, we can... I have something that we can cheers to. Oh, let's do it. Okay. we can announce officially/unofficially- Oh, I know we are in the process of booking our first in-house guest in November, hopefully. It's gonna be so awesome. We wanna get our, more people in to do the show with us and give us different perspectives, and so we're super excited. And we're gonna cheers to that. Yeah. And I'm gonna tease the shit out of it. It's gonna be awesome. Yes. Cheers. It is sweet. Sounds, that tastes like a Chardonnay to me. What? That tastes like a Chardonnay to me. It tastes like a Sauvignon Blanc. Sauv, Sauvignon- Sauvignon Blanc I didn't get rosé all day. Isn't rosé all day alcohol? I can't believe I used to drink two bottles of wine a night. Like, just having that sip- All right. That's the end for today, so we're gonna sign off. All right. Till next time. Peace out. Health and happiness.